"Change what you do to change who you are."
That was my Facebook post this morning and I want to expand and explain it a bit here. We are not who we say we are - we are what we do. Actions speak louder than words. If there is something in your life you want to change you must change your actions pertaining to it. Want to lose weight? You have to eat less and eat better and you have to workout. These are placed in order of importance. Jack Lalanne himself couldn't draw up a workout plan that would outwork a bad diet. If you're eating too much or eating all the wrong things (processed foods and starchy carbs) exercise will not help you lose weight. At the very best, it will keep you for gaining more.You want a better relationship? Don't pester the other person to change. You change. What I mean by change is: "LOVE HARDER."
Just like anything that requires effort can receive more effort. So can a relationship. You can love harder. You can do more little things the other person likes. You can listen more. You can talk less. You can say "thank you" more. You can give more compliments. You can make up your mind to be a better partner. And if you're with a person worth being with, your actions will be noticed and you will notice change in your partner. The relationship will get better.
Change what you do to change who you are.
Love harder.You want a better relationship with your colleagues at work? A better work environment? Change what you do. Be better. Make the extra effort. Bitterness loves more bitterness. It gives the negative person justification for being negative. Fire plus fire (angry passive aggressive actions and words) makes more fire. Fire plus wind (gossip) makes BIGGER fire. But fire plus refreshing water (being nice, going the extra mile, giving the benefit of the doubt) equals no fire. Just like in a personal relationship, if you're dealing with people worth dealing with they will notice your efforts and their energy towards you change. Warning: Some people are beyond repair on a professional level. These people have deep challenges on a personal level you may never know about. In short they are miserable in ways you can't imagine. It's ok. Work around them.